


Honey, the Kids Escaped! (ну, дерьмо, or, As Said In English, Well, Shit.)

by beyoncesshoe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (though they shouldn't be because that just smells like trouble), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Castiel Krushnic and his adoptive daughter Claire Novak, Claire and Ben are friends, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, Modern Era, No Sex, One Shot, POV Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 08:10:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7883401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyoncesshoe/pseuds/beyoncesshoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>Based on the ABC News story of "Two five-year-old Russian boys used spades to dig their way of out their kindergarten and set off to buy a sports car."</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hell, of course he’s worried that Ben and the other kid could have been hurt-- but it’s kinda freaking hilarious.</p><p>Unfortunately, the other kid’s dad doesn’t think so."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honey, the Kids Escaped! (ну, дерьмо, or, As Said In English, Well, Shit.)

**Author's Note:**

> some really small fluff to make up for that one time I killed Cas off with a Dodge Ram and because when I saw this news header on Tumblr I laughed so hard I cried

**_____**

**:::**

Dean can’t believe it.

Dean is so surprised that whatever the principal has been saying for the last 20 seconds goes flying over his head.

For one-- Ben-- shy, bright, little Ben- _busted_ out of school.

Like, full on Shawshank Redemption shit. He pulled a goddamn Andy Dufresne and dipped.

Two-- It was _Ben’s idea_. Ben managed to rope in someone else to his brilliant escape plan, something he came up with entirely on his own.

Ben’s a smart kid, no doubt, another Sammy in the making, but to actually strategize an escape plan in _kindergarten_ , to _actually get away with it_ \-- That’s something he can’t really wrap his head around.

Hell, of course he’s worried that Ben and the other kid could have been hurt-- but it’s kinda freaking hilarious.

Unfortunately, the other kid’s dad doesn’t think so.

“What do you mean they _escaped_? With _spades_?”

The principal gives a pained look at the man, tight with worry. Dean doesn’t doubt the worry is over whether or not they decide to take arms up against the district.

“I was under the impression that our children were being watched in order to keep them safe and in a favourable environment.”

“Mr. Krushnic--”

“Nevermind your excuses, where is Claire? I would like to speak to her.” Dean can’t really blame the guy for being a dick. Now that the initial shock is wearing off, he’s feeling pretty sketched over what kind of supervision this school has and whether or not Ben is really safe here.

“They’re both in the nurse’s office. They gained a few cuts on their way--” She struggles with the appropriate words. “On their-- outing.”

The man, who Dean also notes, is pretty hot, is pinching the bridge of his noise and letting out a loud sigh.

“Please send her in.” Hot Dad orders tiredly, and Dean can just barely pick up an accent- Russian, he thinks.

The principal flattens her lips, but reaches for her walkie-talkie on her desk and requests for the children to be brought in.

Dean huffs, still debating on high-fiving Ben or grounding him. But then again, grounding a 5-year-old is hard.

See, good old Benjamin Winchester and his friend Claire Novak planned an escape mission over the course of several days. They dug their way from the school’s playground soundbox and out to the other side of the fence protecting them. The only reason why they were caught was because they stopped by some old auto shop and asked to buy a car.

Dean eyes Hot Dad, wary. He’s not sure the guy is gonna dick out on him and start blaming this all on Ben or him, given that it was Ben’s idea. Dean might have grown from his days from swinging a punch at anyone that pissed him off, but he’s got other means of getting his defense for Ben through.

“Hey man, sorry ‘bout all this.” Dean offers, a little startled when the guy snaps his sharp gaze to him and doesn’t let go. Like a moth to a flame, Dean can’t look away. “Didn’t think I’d be called in today to find out my kids already busting outta government property.” He gives a weak laugh.

Surprisingly, the man’s lip twitches, and Dean feels relief course through him. “Nor I. Forgive me, I’ve been quite rude.” He holds out his hand for a shake which Dean gives strongly. “I’m Castiel Krushnic, Claire is my daughter.”

Dean notices the difference in their last names, but doesn’t ask. “Dean Winchester, Ben’s my kiddo. Hell, I gotta blame my brother for this one though. If those two brainiacs weren’t so busy doing smart things all the time, maybe Ben wouldn’t have decided that school wasn’t worth his time.” Note to self, tell Sam about this before Ben does, same with Ellen, and try to hold this from Jody as long as possible.

Castiel seems amused enough, though still quite tired. His ugly trenchcoat (Dean can’t believe he’s actually seeing someone in the flesh wearing one) is rumpled, and his gelled hair is starting to stick out in different places. The light behind his head is giving him some sort of halo effect, like an angel coming down to smite the earth and all its doings- such as obviously making him cut his busy day off early to take care of his runaway child.

Holy tax accountant, he thinks.

The door to the principal's office opens and in comes a guilty looking Ben and his friend Claire, her blonde hair dirtied with sand, just like Ben’s.

He’s eager to talk to Ben as is Castiel with Claire, so they take their leave. Castiel politely tells the principal that he isn’t done speaking over this matter and Dean agrees vocally. They shuffle the kids out the door but they don’t stray too far from each other.

Dean kneels in front of his son, opens up his arms for Ben immediately, pulling him into a hug. “Hey buddy.”

“Hi daddy.” He muffles into Dean’s shoulder. “Am I in trouble?”

Dean hesitates. “I don’t know bud, do you think you should be?”

Ben shrugs, still hiding in Dean’s arms.

“Y’know what you did wasn’t okay, that you could have gotten hurt? Same with Claire.”

Ben nods. “I just wanted to show her the car we saw the other day.”

Dean is surprised. He had pulled over to get a look at it on his way back from grocery shopping. “You mean that pimp ca-- that 1978 Lincoln?”

Ben nods more fiercely, stepping away from his dad to look at Claire, who is also getting a talk from her father. Though she looks more mad than guilty.

“She said that her dad needs a new car and that he likes old ones like the one you have. So I wanted to help. But she says after school they both are busy and I have to go to Jody’s everyday so we couldn’t show her but I really wanted to-”

“Hey, hey hey,” Dean rubs Ben’s back when he begins to get worked up. “Alright, kiddo. Next time, just tell me, okay? You can talk to me about anything, Ben. I mean it.”

“Okay." Ben says quietly. “Is Claire in trouble?”

Dean turns to Claire and Castiel, managing to catch her stomp her foot on the ground accompanied with; “You said you needed a new car so we found one and you will like it so we have to go get it!”

“Claire-”

“We dug for a really long time and there is dirt in my hair and I scratched my knee so you have to see it!”

“Can’t really argue with that logic,” Dean intervenes, coming to a stand. “Heard about the car issue, kids thought they could help out.”

Castiel makes a frustrated noise. “Claire, that is still no reason to leave the school grounds. I appreciate and am touched that you tried to help, but it’s not safe for you to be out on your own.”

“I wasn’t! Ben was with me!”

Castiel flicks his eyes to Dean, exasperated. Ben speaks. “We were really really careful! I had the blade daddy gave me!”

Dean pales.

“What?” Castiel asks, alarmed.

“See!” And Ben is digging into his pockets with enthusiasm and Dean gawks, lunging for Ben to stop his tiny hands from pulling out his switchblade. Dean demanded that Ben carries it on his person at all times and not show or tell anyone. And yet…

“Uh,” Dean says, for lack of anything else. He pulls Ben closer to him, big hands on his tiny shoulders.

Claire _beams_. “I had mine too!” And then she’s reaching for her pocket, Castiel frozen as she pulls out a small switchblade, waving it around. “Mine is red!”

“Mine is black!”

“Claire novak!” Castiel scowls and Claire goes red and shoves it back in her pocket. “I told you to be careful with that! And not to-” He falters as he looks at Dean, who is looking at him with wide eyes.

It’s a quiet moment. Dean eyeing up Castiel, Castiel eyeing up Dean.

Then Dean can’t help it, and he laughs.

It’s deep and warming and loud and he _can’t stop_. Castiel is laughing too, gums and eye crinkles and an ugly snort that Dean finds ridiculously endearing. Ben and Claire stare at them, startled, swapping looks of confusion, though they both are smiling at their parent’s amusement.

“Oh god,” Dean says, wiping at his eyes. “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.” He chuckles, reaching down to lay his palm on Ben’s head.

Castiel looks incredibly pleased with himself, eyes bright and still grinning. “Yes, well,” He looks down to Claire, smile fading. “I suppose we should head home. Do you have all your things?”

“Yes.”

Ben pouts. “Do I have to go to Jody’s?”

“Nah.” Dean says. “Gotta head over to Ellen’s, how does ice cream sound?”

Ben squeals, happy.

Claire tugs on her father’s sleeve. “I want ice cream too papa.”

Dean shrugs when Castiel meets his eyes, a guilty grin. He mouths “sorry”. Castiel only smiles. “Of course, go ahead and meet me at the car.”

“Okay!” She turns to hug Ben, fierce, then she gives Dean a big wave. “Bye bye Ben!”

“Bye Claire!” Ben says, Dean waves. He looks to Castiel, who is shifting back and forth on his feet.

“I was wondering,” Castiel starts. “If you would like to accompany Claire and I? I planned on looking in on the car the children were so eager to see, considering they quite literally escaped school to inspect it- after ice cream, of course.” 

“Uh,” Dean blushes, unsure why. “You sure man? Wouldn’t want to-”

“Dean.” Castiel smiles, it reaches his eyes. Dean decides he likes seeing Castiel smile. “I wouldn’t have invited you two if you were intruding on our plans.”

“Um,” Dean says, face still hot. “Sure.”

Castiel’s smile widens. He shifts to crouch, making eye contact with Ben. “What do you think? Would you like to join us?”

“Yes!” Ben nods excitedly. “Claire knows you’ll like the car and my daddy can fix it up for you! He’s a mechanic at Bobby’s with Benny!”

Castiel looks up. “Is that so?”

“Yeah. Been working there since I was a kid, just about a mile from here. Can fix up just about anything.” He says, not worried about the pride he’s obviously displaying.

Castiel looks impressed. “Well, if that car ends up being a deal, I’m sure your father and I can work something out.” There’s a playful glint in his eye when he looks back up to Dean.

Ben smiles, pleased.

“Yeah, of course man.” Dean says.

Castiel stretches back to his full height. “Shall we?”

Dean pats Ben on the back, ushering him forward. He grins at Castiel. “Lead the way.”

**_____**

**:::**

Years later, Castiel Novak and Benjamin Winchester will take joy in explaining their parent’s first meeting at their wedding reception with drunken smiles and proud snickers.

“Man,” Ben will say into the microphone. “Maybe we should be match-makers.”

“Dude,” Claire will say in response. “Who’s willing to pay us for this?’

Then they’ll high five and pointedly ignore the protests of their blushing dads.

**_____**

**:::**

**Author's Note:**

> Cas and Dean falling in love is their biggest regret bcuz Claire + Ben together = catastrophe


End file.
